It’s always funny until someone gets their identity stolen…

“The Answer is NOT always C” by Jeff Rosenberg on CollegeHumor
Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A True and B False. You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. Its as if you didnt look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year

May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C

It’s a funny story, and if you follow the link above there is a picture of the scantron form. The story has a sad undercurrent though… Many colleges use the student’s Social Security Number as their student ID. This means that Michael Benson was not only exposed to public humiliation, he may also be exposed to increased risk of identity theft as well. At least with his understanding of simple concepts like true/false tests he isn’t likely to get far in life, so his identity may not be worth stealing.

-Chris

Loyalty Day, 2007

I wish I was joking about this one. I really wish I was. The implications of this type of mentality are creepy beyond belief…

Loyalty Day, 2007
A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America

America was founded by patriots who risked their lives to bring freedom to our Nation. Today, our citizens are grateful for our Founding Fathers and confident in the principles that lead us forward. On Loyalty Day, we celebrate the blessings of freedom and remember our responsibility to continue our legacy of liberty.

Our Nation has never been united simply by blood, birth, or soil, but instead has always been united by the ideals that move us beyond our background and teach us what it means to be Americans. We believe deeply in freedom and self-government, values embodied in our cherished documents and defended by our troops over the course of generations. Our citizens hold the truths of our founding close to their hearts and demonstrate their loyalty in countless ways. We are inspired by the patriotic service of the men and women who wear our Nations uniform with honor and decency. The military spouses and families who stand by their loved ones represent the best of the American spirit, and we are profoundly grateful for their sacrifice. Our country is strengthened by the millions of volunteers who show deep compassion toward their neighbors in need. All citizens can express their loyalty to the United States by flying the flag, participating in our democracy, and learning more about our countrys grand story of courage and simple dream of dignity.

The Congress, by Public Law 85-529, as amended, has designated May 1 of each year as “Loyalty Day.” This Loyalty Day, and throughout the year, I ask all Americans to join me in reaffirming our allegiance to our Nation.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 1, 2007, as Loyalty Day. I call upon the people of the United States to participate in this national observance and to display the flag of the United States on Loyalty Day as a symbol of pride in our Nation.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirtieth day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand seven, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-first.

GEORGE W. BUSH

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